Seven problems that can (sort-of) be solved with potatoes.;

Since I'm still debating whether or not I actually want to solve problems with potatoes, or if I want to give practical "life hacks," I've decided in my first post to take up Mr. Adams' challenge, and begin to solve problems with potatoes. This isn't necessarily how the rest of the posts on this blog will be formatted, or even what they will pertain to, but I thought this could be a fun way to get the blog off the ground. So without further ado, seven problems that can be solved with potatoes.

1. The first problem should be fairly strait-forward, but it is hunger. If you, like me, find yourself unsure of what to eat after a long day of work, might I recommend a potato or two? They can be microwaved, or steamed, or baked, or mashed. They're a starch, and a vegetable, so that's at least two food groups, and then if you throw some butter on top, that's three whole food groups taken care of, in one magical food.
2. If you, like me, are constantly wondering how to do simple mathematical equations, then might I recommend a potato calculator?
3. On the same line of thought, how about something with which one can tell the time? Oh, and it's powered by a potato.
4. Is your TV remote constantly running out of batteries? Are you finding this batteries to be hellishly expensive? If the answer to both of those questions is yes, then you should make a potato battery, just like you did in elementary school. I'm not sure if this will actually work with a TV remote,  but it can't hurt to try, right?
5. Sunburnt? Then use those leftover mashed potatoes that have been sitting in your fridge since the first point, and rub the cold potatoes on your skin. I don't think this is actually solid medical advice, but as someone currently suffering a sunburn, this sounds delightful. If only I had some mashed potatoes in my fridge...
6. Are you constantly eyeing the carpool lane as you're stuck in traffic? Well, then maybe you should make some potato people and strap them in to the extra seats in your car. I don't think it will fool many cops, especially as it's been tried already, but you might make them laugh as they're writing you your ticket. Who knows? Maybe you can convince them that since potatoes can produce electricity, they therefore are living, and should be consider people. I say it's worth a shot. Just don't send me angry emails when you get a ticket.
7. Can't find a baseball when you go to the park? Well, a potato is round-ish, so why not use that? It's softer than a baseball, and infinitely more delicious.